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    The Cake Filled With Unfortunate Happenings
  by Sam Freek

This sentence is so long because of its curly tail plus the sum of 60 multiplied by your nearest and dearest
Amber ants climb the wall and tell me its time to face the nuts and bolts with crooked smiles
Stop marching backwards as winter is returning and I shall not hide amongst the hogs of yesteryear
Up, up and away I fill the time talking to a bleating sheep with a purple rinse who shares anger management tips
All the boxes are ticked for the jobsworths having being formed from a pink rubber mould made in China

I ask for a rewind on repeat until I'm blue in the face and consider my options from a nearby takeaway menu
One layer of the Russian doll made an appearance before it vanished on a milk float from Aberystwyth
The left hook broke my jaw as I tried to recite the complete works of William Shakespeare in my pink angel winged mohair jumper

Oh come all ye faithful to flex the seeds of Forget Me Nots
Three winks turn up in blindfolds which creates panic in the yoga class
Then bribery came with a Big Mac Deal and a lifetime supply of fountain pen cartridges

I hid under the table and played a game of Queenie with a large bearded man wearing a tag for being at the mushroom farm at the wrong time
The fog rolled in from the east which steamed up Vera Websters hexagonal glasses that she bought to clash with her lopsided head
The polar opposite of inaccuracy raced up to me in a bashed up Nissan Micra and I was force fed the cake of unfortunate happenings

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